Section 459: Gospels: Hello Kitty

One day, when the two founders of Aii I Aiia were strolling through the park in Salisbury, they decided they would punish the leek that they were carrying in their hands. So Kit smashed the leek on the park bench, in order to punish it for the past crimes of its species. Then, they sentenced it to death by drowning it in the local river.

Leeks are the device of Jamie Watts, who was once an angel who lived in Kit and Ray's perfect world. However, Jamie rebelled, and fell into the underworld. He now resides in the protection of London, which is closer to the harsh, cold mountains of the north in which noone can survive.

Eating a leek is a sin against the gods of Kit and Ray, and the Aii I Aiia messiah Louis Pierce, who is the physical embodiment of Kit and Ray's divine beauty.

However, if you spin a leek round and round whilst singing Ieva's Polkka by Loituma, it negates the evil used by Jamie and it becomes safe to eat. This spinning negation process is known as Filram and must be carried out for at least 3 minutes and 27 seconds.